Struggling SAHM

The "Stay At Home MOM"

 I hear so many mother's {or hope-to-be mother's some day} say they want to be one, and I'm sure there are some that honestly do without having a case of the 'grass is greener' because they happen to be working. "Oh to be able to have the time to teach your children and savor every moment as they grow!!" It definitely is amazing in those aspects, but is it for everyone? I can only answer if it is for me or not, and it may surprise you to know... it isn't.

Now don't get me wrong... I love my children, my family, and I'm grateful for everything we have. Life is amazing and we're blessed in more ways than I can count! The problem I'm having, is that I have daily internal struggles when it comes to a feeling of accomplishment. For those of you who have a job outside of the home and a family to come home to, I ask;

Do you have a sense of accomplishment at work?

Even if you are not working your "ideal" job, or don't make as much money as you'd like/need... Have you worked hard through college to attain the job you have now? Do you do something you enjoy? Do you have moments at work that make you feel like you've done something that deserves an 'atta boy' (or girl)?  Do you get to make people smile? Does your job involve helping people even if it is indirectly? Do you get any sort of praise even if it's every once-in-a-blue-moon (like from a boss or co-worker)? If so, you probably feel a sense of accomplishment at work.

When you're a SAHM like me, your day doesn't change very much on a regular basis. Since structure is a necessity for growing children (and for my own sanity) we stick to a basic schedule.

Our typical Day; (times vary of course but this is for visual sake)

6am - Addie's 1st Feeding
8am - Braedyn wakes
8:10am - Potty Braedyn
8:20am - Eat breakfast
9am - Change clothes/diapers
10am-11:30am - Activity/cleaning
Noon - Lunch/Feed
12:45 - Potty/diaper change
1pm- 3pm - Nap(mommy-time IF Addie sleeps)
3:10pm - Potty Braedyn
3:20pm - Snack
3:30pm- 5pm - Activity/Exercise
5pm - Prepare Supper
5:30-6pm - Eat/Feed
7pm - Ready for bed/Reading
8pm - Bedtime

  Sure we deviate from our usual activities and get to have fun filled play-dates, walks to the park, trips to see family, library book check outs, etc... but the reality is, your children are not typically going to turn around to you and say,

"Hey mom, I see that you really broke a sweat going up and down the stairs with 5 loads of laundry today while running after me and baby sister as lunch was baking before you could enjoy your "morning" cup of coffee this afternoon, and I just wanted to say I appreciate you!"

Now I'm not trying to be a "Negative Nancy" here... because my children also give me a lot of joy and an enormous amount of love more times than I can count in one day and I'm extremely proud to be their mother! What I am however getting at, is that this whole SAHM thing is really a very difficult thing to do. It's especially difficult if you have a perspective like mine. I wish that I felt the same sense of accomplishment being home every day teaching my children, as I would feel doing a specified "job" outside of the home where I was earning a paycheck... but I don't feel the same way about the two. I happen to be the type of person who feels I can be a better parent to my children when I have my own time outside of the house to work toward something that makes me feel accomplished.

 For example, I have gotten an immense amount of gratification from doing one of the most difficult and underpaid jobs out there (in my opinion)... care-giving. If I made one person smile during an 8 hour (or longer) shift on my feet running my buns off, I was happy to go home knowing that I made a difference in that person's day. I just have that need to feel like I'm making a difference in the world as well as my own home... and I'm sure I will find new ways of doing this as my own life takes it's twists and turns. In the future, I hope to be able to do a balancing act of working and being a good parent, but for now I will be making the best of life as it has happened. I just have to focus on the fact that I AM doing something amazing!  Being a SAHM is a very difficult job that just doesn't get the recognition that a job outside of the home gets most times.

The reality of my situation is that life in our family, wasn't planned this way... it happened this way. It's a miraculous and wonderful life that we share, but it's difficult... as it is for all of us grown-ups {wait, grown ups? ...when did that happen? :)}. What we are doing in our family, is exactly what everyone else is trying to do regardless of each of our different circumstances... get by to the next day; happy, healthy, and with an ounce of sanity. We're growing and learning with each mistake and new moment together. I'm so lucky to have an amazing man by my side, who helps me through it all, who I'm able to have great conversations with, who can turn my stubborn attitude around, and who I love more every day.

So here's to making the best of every day, and finding the happiness in life ... even when it doesn't go as you planned it. Everything happens for a reason. :)

This is my day-late party link up for Tuesday's "Help a momma out" :)